Once Upon My Nightmare

Apr 12

Missing you

And I knew this was going to happen and it made me dread you coming because I knew that you would fill my life back up again and I wasn’t ready to let that go, I wasn’t ready to live empty again

Oct 07

Watching the love of my life walk away with someone else unexplainable I use to tell myself alot when we were first together that this would be it this would be how we would end he would choose her no matter what the options. It’s hard to put Into words the sinister thoughts and feelings are going through me but I still feel all the pain. It’s so bad I feel like I need to be hospitalized on high doses of morphine to ever get me through this, the smell of her strong perfume on his shirt makes everything a blur but this time it’s not a week or a few days this time it’s forever until I decide enough is enough I stop giving tokens to the machine I hop off the ride but will I? How much is too much? Too much is every persons own definition too much could be one word or a million it could be a slap to the face or it could be a final breath but everyone has a breaking point the time they look at they’re life an say this is the worst case scenerio of coarse in my life I think I’ve hit it an than the worst possible possibility comes into play. How many times will I need to pray? Wish on the shooting stars? Throw a penny in a well? My feelings are deep and misunderstood but now I’m lost he’s lost. The person I woke up with this morning an listened to his laugh and felt holding me that person is dead now that person is a faint memory now I face the bigger giant the one I’ve been facing all along the one where he prevails and I fall victimized like a pattern a circle that won’t stop spinning. I miss him even though he sits right here I crave him even when his lips are on mine sad to say I don’t see him having anymore breakthroughs that will last longer than an hour or so I don’t see our candle anymore no future an no past with this man, this personality, all I see is the evil and horrid things that pass through his words but the old him..my him speaks songs to your ears and holds you with the lightest touch and brightest smiles he’s who I’m chasing after he is who I want he is the one I fight for ! And if it wasn’t for who I knew was trapped inside the beast I wouldn’t have the courage to fight at all

Sep 20

Ughhh

I honestly feel I’m about to have a nervous breakdown! Why would u change the pic to even begin with to lie an pretend maybe u love me again? What do I have to do threaten to leave you? Than what u leave me cause now your starting a new thing with her?!?!? Fuck you.

Sep 17

Cheaters

Omg I have been in a relationship with a guy for almost 4 years an the whole time he has been also having other relationships with various woman, first one hes been with for 9 now apperently she moved to Nebraska almost 2 years ago an hea visited her twice the other girl he’s been with for 1year an a half but he recently broke that off and man is he depressed. She apperently cheated,well karma is a bitch. Anyway so hes been trying to make her jealous by posting pics of him an other pretty girls up, never me he lies and hides me and says we’re not together to everyone. No matter what I do I’m never good enough. Weve lived together almost 2 years now and still I will never be enough for him. I feel worthless I need help I want out idk why i can’t leave him. I guess I feel I’m not good enough to be with anyone else

Sep 15

quote I wanna witness love, I’ve never seen it close

— #drake
Aug 31

Day 3: Your Parents

welp my mom and dad seperated when i was 9. my dad…uh i know him iguess my only memories are really him leaving all the time so i never spent to much time with him. he manages to make a phone call once a week to me and my brother for 30mins each…very proud of him for makin a huge effort -__- men i guess. my mom has always been here for me shes sweet neive to the world trust everyone wich is a downfall. but i know when i need advice or someone to be there for me she will she always has been and i love her for that. thats pretty much my parents lol

Aug 30

Day 2:Your Crush

my crush? lol no crush for me. i have a boyfriend of almost 2 years but i would say its far from a crush :)

Aug 29

Day 1:Your Best Friend

lol my best friend well she is an amazing woman. she is independent, beautiful, funny, and keeps her head up. she always is there for me no matter what! and even though were so differnt..were excatly the same. and theres not one moment where were not laughin or bein goofy about something lol i met her when i was 9 she was 10. thats 9 years for us this year and next sept. it will be 10 :) i met her at roosevelt elementry in hawthorne cali. man good ol days. and we clicked ever since…well after she told me she was pretending we were friends the whole time haha ;) we have been inseprable ever since and now i live thousand miles away were still close.. i love her very much thats my sister. forever! 

Aug 29

quote I’m Probably Just The Reason You Learned Your Lesson

Aug 29